N's email 3/16/2015

area: Kingwood 2nd Ward (Texas)
zone: Kingwood
companion: Elder Noall

This week was full of service! We pulled a nice old lady's weeds out of her flower bed after we tracted into her and then went back the next day to finish the job. We raked 2 yards on Saturday and cleaned up a big pile of junk in someone's front yard on Saturday as well. Actually, we kind of just made it a more organized pile since they don't have trash cans or a dumpster (a lot of people here seem to be like that) so we weren't able to actually get rid of any of it... But it does look better now than it did before.

We had half of our investigators drop us over this past week. But each day someone dropped us we got at least 2 referrals. I'm still not sure if God is sifting through the wheat and the tares or if we're just horrible missionaries, but I pray it's the first! So far only one of those investigators turned out to be a new investigator, his name is Jonathan. I think over half of his extended family is investigating the church right now, so he decided to see what it was about this church. We had an awesome spiritual lesson, and his niece sat next to him the whole time. Her eyes lit up so big when we told them that Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father appeared to Joseph Smith. That made me really understand what Christ meant when he said "become as little children." They're so ready to believe!

We have a lesson with another one of the referrals tomorrow and we're super excited about that.

This is also the first week I've passed 70 contacts! We got 73 and we've seen miracles work around us as we did that!

I've also gained a testimony of fasting this week. I've been struggling for the last few weeks with just thinking. Usually I'm able to ponder for hours about a single subject and discover incredible personal revelations from it. My mom can attest that I've had the gift of discernment (or being able to know how others feel and what they need) since I was born. But I've lost those, both being gifts of the Spirit. as well as the gift of weeping, which I'd be ok with if it didn't take all emotional feelings with it. I became a robot for 3 weeks and I didn't understand why. I was constantly confused, so confused in fact that I was confused about feeling confused. I didn't even know what was wrong with me until we talked in our scripture study class about gifts of the Spirit and I realized I had lost all of mine except my testimony. Once I figured out what was missing I still had no idea how to get them back. I think they were taken because of my pride (cuz I prayed for humility, I highly advise not doing that unless you're in a very comfortable position in life, patience is along those same lines) so I acknowledged that they were gifts from God and that I literally am nothing without Him (Alma 26:12). Then I fasted for a day, begging my Heavenly Father to give them back to me or help/show me how to be humble asap so I could overcome that trial and get them back. Over that day they all came back. each and every gift. i know fasting works miracles!

I love all of you. But I love our Savior more. And this is where He wants me. So this is where I want to be.